What's in a Conversation?
5 Ways Worship & Music Leaders Can Engage Others Better
As worship and music ministry leaders, we’re often in front of people—leading songs, directing teams, planning services. It’s easy for conversations to drift toward us, our ministry, or how things are going on our platform. But ministry isn’t about us—it’s about people.
If we want to truly connect, encourage, and build relationships, we need to shift the focus. Here are five practical ways to turn conversations away from yourself and engage others in a deeper, more meaningful way.
1. Ask Intentional Questions (And Actually Listen!)
It’s easy to default to surface-level small talk—“How’s it going?” or “Busy week?” But real connection happens when we ask deeper questions and then truly listen to the response.
Try asking:
“What’s something exciting happening in your life right now?”
“What’s God been teaching you lately?”
“How can I be praying for you?”
The key? Actually listen to their response. People can tell when you’re just waiting for your turn to talk.
2. Highlight Someone Else’s Strengths
A great way to turn the spotlight off yourself is to use conversation as an opportunity to encourage others. Notice someone’s strengths and call them out!
Example:
“I saw how you encouraged your team last Sunday—you’re such a great leader.”
“Your heart for ministry really shows. I love seeing how God is using you.”
Not only does this shift the focus, but it also builds others up in their calling.
3. Be Curious, Not Just Courteous
We often ask, “How are you?” out of habit, but do we actually want to know? Being curious means caring about people beyond pleasantries.
Instead of:
“How’s work?” (Generic, easy to brush off)
Try:
“What’s been the best part of your week so far?” (More specific, invites real conversation)
Curiosity leads to connection, and connection leads to meaningful relationships.
4. Let Silence Do Its Job
Sometimes, we feel pressure to fill every silence—especially in ministry settings. But giving someone space to talk often leads to deeper sharing.
If someone gives a short answer, instead of jumping in with your own story, pause. People will often open up more when given time.
Resist the urge to redirect the conversation to yourself. Keep the focus on them, even if it feels unnatural at first.
5. Follow Up (Because Relationships Don’t Stop at Hello)
If you really want to show people they matter, don’t let your conversations be one-and-done interactions.
Simple ways to follow up:
Send a text: “Hey, I prayed for you today—how did that thing you mentioned go?”
Bring up your last conversation: “Last time we talked, you mentioned a challenge at work. How’s that going?”
Following up shows people you genuinely care—not just in the moment, but beyond it.
Final Thought
As worship and music leaders, our calling isn’t just to lead songs—it’s to lead people. And leadership starts with listening, encouraging, and turning the conversation away from ourselves.
The next time you’re meeting someone, greeting a team member, or connecting after church, challenge yourself to shift the focus. Make it about them. Because in the end, people won’t remember how well we sang or played, but they will remember how we made them feel.
How can you turn the conversation toward someone else this week?