When Ministry Feels Dangerous: The Hidden Scramble of a Leader Who Needs to Feel Safe
What if your greatest ministry struggle isn’t your schedule, your team, or your resources… but your need to feel safe?
Ministry isn’t always safe. I wish it were.
But too often, behind the worship sets, the sermons, the meetings, and the endless pouring out… there’s a constant scanning. A quiet question playing in the background: Am I Safe?
For some leaders, this question isn’t just background noise. It’s the core of everything they do. Their decisions, their tone, their relationships, even their calling—it all filters through a nervous system on high alert.
And what looks like “excellence” or “control” on the outside… might actually be a scramble for survival.
A Story:
A friend of mine, a worship pastor at a growing church, once confided in me after a rehearsal: "I always feel like I'm one misstep away from losing everything." He wasn’t talking about his job performance—he was talking about trust, relationships, emotional safety.
Every week, he prepared meticulously, showed up early, carried every detail on his shoulders. He never let the team see him struggle. He joked and smiled and carried the room… but privately, he was unraveling.
His greatest fear wasn’t failing musically—it was being blindsided relationally. Disappointed by a pastor. Hurt by a team member. Misunderstood by the people he loved most. And without realizing it, he was leading from fear, not from freedom. He didn't feel safe. So he tried to be safe—for everyone else.
This is the hidden weight many leaders carry.
The Primal Question: Am I Safe?
Leaders with this question live with a survivalist mindset. They’ve often experienced trauma or instability—sometimes in childhood, sometimes in ministry itself—and their body remembers. Even when everything seems “fine,” they’re bracing for what could go wrong.
That internal question—Am I Safe?—rarely gets answered with a true Yes. So they scramble.
The Scramble Looks Like This:
Over-controlling everything to avoid surprises
Avoiding hard conversations for fear of fallout
Keeping staff or team members at arm’s length
Doubting others’ motives or waiting for betrayal
Constantly rehearsing “what if” scenarios in their head
It’s not just anxiety. It’s a nervous system trying to create safety through strategy.
But no strategy can make us feel spiritually, emotionally, and relationally safe. Only truth can.
The Avoidance Tactic: Hiding in Hyper-Competence
Leaders who aren’t sure they’re safe will often avoid the question by making themselves indispensable. They cover fear with performance. They become the “rock” everyone depends on—but inside, they’re drowning.
They use spiritual language to stay detached:
“God’s got it.”
“It’s not about me.”
“Ministry is just hard.”
These might be true. But sometimes they’re also a cover for deep, unacknowledged fear.
Biblical Example: Elijah (1 Kings 19)
After a supernatural victory on Mount Carmel, Elijah should’ve felt secure. Instead, when Jezebel threatens him, he flees. He isolates. He wants to die.
Why? Because fear and exhaustion make us forget what God just did.
But what does God do?
He doesn’t rebuke Elijah. He meets him with food, rest, a whisper, and a reminder: You are not alone.
Safety wasn’t a situation—it was presence.
Coaching Insight:
If you’re a PQ1 leader, here’s what I’d gently say to you as your coach:
You are safe. Not because ministry is safe, but because God is near.
You can start creating your own sense of safety through routines, rest, and rhythms.
You can risk small things—conversations, delegation, new connections—and find out the world won’t end.
You don’t have to wait until you feel safe to take the next step. Taking the step may actually show you that you already are.
Let’s Be Real:
You don’t have to keep leading from fear.
You don’t have to micromanage everything.
You don’t have to prove you’re strong by never letting your guard down.
You can ask the question: Am I Safe?
And begin to hear, “Yes.”
I’m Here to Help.
I coach Worship, Music, and Ministry Leaders who are carrying unspoken fear, performance pressure, and emotional exhaustion. If that’s you—I see you. Let’s talk. You don’t have to figure it out alone.
🔗 Learn more about coaching with me
Next in the Series:
→ Am I Secure? — When Ministry Feels Like a House of Cards